Stop

Note for the folks at home: The Kirisia Craftsmanship Club is the club I run at the school where I work, Kirisia Boys' High School. The forty Craftsmen (as the club's members are known) meet three days a week to learn practical craftsmanship skills (like painting, carpentry, and masonry) from the school handyman ("fundi") and then practice these skills by repairing and improving the school compound. The students are repaid for their labor by reductions in their school fee debt by the school administration.

Particular Stumbling Block

Note for the folks at home: One of my favorite jokes heard in Kenya came from my good friend Abdi. First, some background information: Idi Amin was a violent dictator who held power in Uganda in the seventies. Known today for his extravagant self-image and less than extravagant intelligence, this is the tyrant who gave himself the actual title: "Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular". NOW FOR THE JOKE: As Idi Amin was wresting power for himself in Uganda, foreign residents began flooding out of the country for their own safety. In their wake, they left thousands of offices empty. Amin strolled through one of his freshly-emptied cities, and angrily asked one of his aides, "Who the hell is this Sal-e, and how is he so wealthy?!" The aide asked for clarification, and Amin replied, "All of these businesses have signs that say 'For Sal-e'! We have to find this Sal-e and kill him!"

(rimshot)

Is It True

Note for the folks at home: Among my students, there is a curiously popular belief about American celebrities. Without a hint of humor, several students have asked me about The Illuminati, a secret brotherhood of devil-worshipers that rule American pop culture from the shadows. Jay-Z and Beyonce, the leaders of the dark organization, have made sinister dealings with the devil to gain their worldly fame and fortune. According to my students, few celebrities escape allegations of association with The Illuminati, and the more famous a celebrity, (logically,) the deeper he or she is involved. Other members include Lil' Wayne, Lady Gaga, most professional football (translation for American readers: "soccer") players, and even Mr. Barack Obama himself. The only people who are safe from accusations of Illuminati dealings, in fact, are those that have been "killed by the Illuminati"... which, as far as I can tell, are pretty much any celebrity who has died, including Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, Bob Marley, and Ghandi. (That last one is not a joke.) I haven't been able to make any progress disproving these claims.

Hair Grow

Note for the folks at home: Christianity is the most popular religion in rural Maralal (and probably Kenya in general). Churches range in size from massive stone halls that can easily hold a thousand worshipers to ramshackle timber-and-sheet-metal huts that would feel cramped at ten. Singing is a big part of most church services, with lyrics in English, Kiswahili, and many tribal mother tongues. If a church has access to electricity, a common tactic is to hook up a synthesizer to a loudspeaker and blast a looping chord progression and drum-machine at the maximum volume to keep time. The booming sound system can be heard across town, so on busy Sundays you might find yourself inundated with a cacophony of several churches' contributions. Jesus is often called "Jesu" (pronounced "YAY-soo"), where God (or maybe Jesus...? Honestly, I'm not sure) is sometimes referred to as "Baba" ("father") or "Bwana" ("mister").